Penn State Wrestling recently released its official 2023-2024 roster
, so let’s get started in helping everyone to put some faces with some names.
And this couldn’t have been any easier of a task for me as Nittany Lions
Super Fan Jessi Lillo went through the full roster to come up with some incredibly fun categories.
Full 2023-2024 Penn State Wrestling Roster
Best “Come at me bro” face
If I’ve said it once, then I’ve said it a thousand times. There are very few things in life you want to ever mess with, and I would have to say that “D1 collegiate wrestler” is very high on that list.
Just look at Josh Barr and Carter Starocci.
I would be sweating bullets even if I had to step onto the mat against either one of those guys while driving a 1987 Ford F150. And I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if two tons of metal, four wheels, and my doughy self would come out on the losing end of it.
Best Mona Lisa impression
While none of these guys are actual 15th century artwork masterpieces, you could make the argument what they do on the mat is masterful.
Is Karl Shindledecker smirking to the camera because he knows something you don’t?
Based on the look on Alex Facundo’s face, it looks like he’s saying that he wrestles in the best wrestling room in the country.
And he damn well knows it!
Biggest Burt Reynolds fans
Let’s go through and grade each guy’s mustache just for fun.
Solid and extra credit for the shear width of it.
Trim the rest of the beard and add some Rollie Fingers edges and it’s an A+
Clean and good definition
Kurt is giving off some heavy “1980’s Major League Baseball player” energy with that mustache! Dude looks like he played second base for the 1984 Royals.
The Grizzly Adams Club
Do I have any idea what it’s like to grow a full and luscious beard? Nope, not in the least because apparently I missed out on all of the beard growing genes.
But, holy cow look at Imran Heard, Donovon Ball, and Matt Lee’s designer stubble. It looks like they were chiseled out of granite.
Best new lettuce
Howard’s new hair cut speaks loudly to one thing and one thing only.
“Hey barber, give me a new look that’s great for waking up 12 minutes prior to a scheduled team photo shoot.”
Same thing can be said about Steen’s tight mane.
And Erik’s big change was color. The blond color is out and the dark color is in. But it doesn’t matter if his hair is dark or purple when he’s grinding your face on the Resilite.
The smiles on this list are priceless.
From the looks of it I’m guessing the person behind the camera either told them a dad-joke before the shutter snapped or said, “Hey, pretend like you’re seven years old and give me the biggest smile you have.”
Best “Trust me, you’re dad’s gonna love me” smile
You could also substitute another word in for “love”, but I digress.
If wrestling doesn’t pan out for some of these guys later in life, maybe they could have a career in acting. Just look at Barraclough’s picture. It looks more like a Hollywood head shot than it does a collegiate wrestler team photo.
Best “Am I really wrestling for Penn State?” face
You know that look all kids have when they first see Disney World?
These pretty much span all of those emotions right there.
And for good reason. Could you imagine getting the opportunity to wrestle at Penn State?